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My personal experience of family alcohol and substance abuse | Speaking out

18th May 2020 12 Comments

Pin It

Alcohol and substance abuse is a serious thing. It’s scary, unhealthy, dangerous and can break families and friendships apart!  Abusing alcohol and drugs is a serious issue and can cause illness and early death. It changes who you are, how you act and your potential in life. Addiction can cause career, relationship and financial breakdown all leading to potential severe mental illness. Let’s all keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant. 

Chronic alcohol abuse on top of existing mental illness is so dangerous, not to mention the physical health decay caused as well. Drugs on top of this or alone are also so damaging physically and mentally. Some may be addicted to prescribed drugs and some to illegal substances; Both are extremely dangerous and unhealthy possibly causing long term illness.

Alcohol abuse can take lives

I know from experience and life in general that alcohol claims many lives. Years of alcohol abuse has caused members of my family to develop long term illnesses such as dementia, epilepsy and brain damage. These have then sadly claimed their independence leading to poor quality of life and eventually possibly the cause of passing away. 

Excessive alcohol abuse on top of anxiety and depression caused both of my brothers to attempt suicide multiple times. It has messed with their minds so much and still does. It’s a battle that is harder to fight the longer it goes on and we are all trying to pull together to get everyone ok. Both of my siblings and I have been through a lot and alcohol has been a crutch to them whereas I have turned the opposite way and focused on occupying my mind with my work, passions and things that make me happy! I work with mental health too to help people who struggle daily.

Turning to alcohol is extremely common, just as turning to smoking is. We shouldn’t judge anyone until we have walked in their shoes and tried to understand the source of them starting to drink etc. This does not mean we shouldn’t be stern. It is all about balance with alcohol and drug abusers; They need help in the form of a hand to hold, shoulder to cry on and someone who will tell them some home truths to make them realise how much potential they have. One thing which is hard not to do is give up on someone. I have felt like giving up on those who are so deep into abuse because it does feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and it is heart breaking, but I realise that it is actually the time they need it the most. They need that push and motivation to recover and find hope.

Drug abuse and it's ability to waste a life

I have had family members addicted to both illegal substances and prescription drugs and it has completely taken away any form of quality of life they had from loss in career and educational highs, family relationships, financial stability to chronic lifelong illness which has debilitated them and put towards removing their independence and ability to fulfil things in life they once planned. 

Drugs will often change a person. They will experience mental illness and almost go through a personality change, losing the qualities that made them, them. It is a devastating thing to witness and a difficult thing to overcome as the person suffering and the person witnessing. Just like those who abuse alcohol it is very hard to be around that person let alone offer help. It is a cycle that seems unlikely to end and as a family member or friend it seems impossible to offer any support making them want to turn the other way and close the door. 

It seems like the easiest way, giving up on them because it hurts too much to keep watching them kill themselves and feeling like you cannot help them, but It is worth trying.

My advice for helping someone who abuses alcohol or drugs

My advice would be never feel guilty for walking away if it is destroying your own mental and physical health. You CANNOT be of help to someone if you aren’t well. You have to know what to prioritise and when to step back and take a break. Seek out professional support or even reliable forums of people who have been through the same situation.

Please remember that alcohol and drug abuse can make someone who was once kind and caring into angry and pessimistic. That person is still in there but their struggles and the abuse may leave scars that no one can see. Although it may seem they don’t want help, it is still good to be there and show them you support them from time to time. Everybody needs somebody – Yes like the song!

Finding professional support to the individual also may be in their best interests however it can be difficult if that person does not wish to get help for their addictions. All you can do is try your best without sinking yourself. Your quality of life still has to be your priority. Helping others is amazing but you must think about your own health too. 

One quote I live by, as hard as it may be is “Offer love and then leave it”. Send a supportive message when you feel need be and maybe a phone call from time to time to check in on them. Talk to others who may be in contact with the person struggling and see if they have the same worries. Together you can find the right path and support but try your best to keep your health well too!

Helplines

Below are a few helplines and websites I have found for you and anyone struggling to go to for guidance, help and information on alcohol and substance abuse. There are many contacts and sites globally that you can access online and through professionals. Please don’t suffer in silence.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/drug-addiction-getting-help/
Help for those suffering with drug addiction.

https://adfam.org.uk/help-for-families/finding-support/call-a-helpline
Help for those struggling with addiction and those who have a family or friend struggling.

https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-support-services/
Help for those with or exposed to alcohol abuse.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/drugs-recreational-drugs-alcohol/useful-contacts/
Information and help on how alcohol and drugs impact mental health

Thank you for reading. There is always a way out and I promise there is help out there. You deserve happiness and health. Please remember that.
Stay wonderful!

Louna x

AddictionadvicealcoholBirminghamBloggerDrugLifestylemental healthpositivitySelf careself helpSubstance abuse
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12 Comments

  1. Lozza
    •
    8 months ago

    This is such an eye opening and honest post, thanks so much for sharing!

    My partner was alcohol dependent for years to the point he was advised by medical professionals to continue drinking until he got a place in a detox centre. He had severe withdrawals and seizures if he went without alcohol for even a few hours and it was a traumatic time for him and everyone around him. Now he’s 4 years sober and a completely different person.

    Watching him go from being so ill and weak to the person he is now has made me so aware of the effects of alcohol and how easily it is to get addicted.

    Love Lozza xo
    http://girlygabble.com

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.

      That story is so inspiring Lozza. Thank you so much for sharing. Honestly people shrug it off sometimes and don’t realise just how awful alcohol addiction is and can be. Sometimes it’s often shrugged off until it’s to the point of no return. The reality of addiction is so different to what preconceived views are. The person suffers internally and it changes and scars them!

      Your partner is so brave! I cannot thank you enough for sharing this!

      Stay wonderful!
      Louna x

      Reply
  2. Sarah
    •
    8 months ago

    Sorry for what you and your family had been through. Addiction can be tough on everyone xx

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you for your comment! Exactly, that’s why I wanted to write about it as it’s such a common topic and I wanted to make sure that if anyone felt alone they could possible relate.

      Louna x

      Reply
  3. Sian
    •
    8 months ago

    Thank you for sharing so candidly
    Sian xo
    http://www.siankathrine.co.uk

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you so much for your time reading and commenting! It means a lot!

      Stay wonderful!

      Louna x

      Reply
  4. Rosie
    •
    8 months ago

    Thank you for being so candid about your experiences, this was a really tough read but for all the right reasons!!
    Rosie

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you so much. I was worried about the topic hence why I put trigger warnings but I really appreciate you reading and taking the time comment. It means the world to me!

      Stay wonderful!

      Louna x

      Reply
  5. Alisha Valerie
    •
    8 months ago

    You’ve shared such an honest post my lovely, thank you for being so open. I’m sending you so much love. Stay strong, stay home, stay safe. ♡

    With love, Alisha Valerie x | http://www.alishavalerie.com

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you so much my wonderful lady! It means the world to me that you have read and taken the time to comment. Thank you so much!

      Stay wonderful you beautiful lady!

      Louna x

      Reply
  6. Amie
    •
    8 months ago

    Such an important topic, thank y ou so much for sharing. It is so hard going through something like that, and sharing your story makes people see they’re not alone.

    Love, Amie ❤️

    The Curvaceous Vegan

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      8 months ago

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment Amie!

      It means so much to me. I always to help people feel like they aren’t alone. It’s important to make people realise that.

      Thank you and stay wonderful!

      Louna x

      Reply

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January has been... testing to say the least. I'v January has been... testing to say the least.

I've laughed, cried, been frustrated and felt extreme self doubt but I've been trying to focus on the positives. 

Last year I became an ambassador for an amazing campaign, work alongside the most incredible people, got paid for blogging and won multiple @blogosphere_magazine challenges.

This year has been wild already.

* I reached 25k words on my novel

* A meeting with renowned fitness company @gymshark
I was gutted to not get chance to speak  much or tell my story but am super glad things are moving forward and hoping this year brings bigger and better things for a brighter future to the world of mental health! (Yoga and Fitness has helped me throughout my eating disorders, body image disorder and overall mental illness struggles and recovery so meeting those at gymshark has been an incredible experience!) @benfrancis

* I hope to use the small influence I have as a content creator, EBE and mental health advocate to make positive change to the world and the wonderful people!

* I have home schooled on top of working on content, working with BCU, @dianaaward, @bham_youthmh and the most amazing group of passionate people. Life is better with amazing people. 

So this is me. I struggle to feel enough for things and people but this year I will try harder and fight harder for happiness and to let my passions spill into the world to make things flourish. 

📷 @krisaskey
Head over to @bham_youthmh to read mine and my amazing friends stories 🥰
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Rocking the leather coat again for the first time Rocking the leather coat again for the first time in a long while. I thought I'd embrace my nails, rings and coat today styled with a pastel pink jumper 🖤🌙

Bat ring from @etsyuk
Head over to the blog to see my 'shop small' gift guide and other 'Stand with small' posts too! 

Coat: @primark
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AD - Some products were gifted as PR Sample Have AD - Some products were gifted as PR Sample

Have you seen my most YouTube video? If not, I'd love for you to check it out. It's my 🍁 Cosy Sunday Makeup Edit 🍁

Simple, feel good makeup applied calmly making you feel content, calm and peaceful ready for a lazy or productive day 🥰

Let me know if you check it out. It would make me one verry happy gal!

Type BurstsOfAutumn into Youtube.

Or

Copy and paste this link: https://youtu.be/sqAWlfJet3o

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My one main rule in life is to be kind. Out of eve My one main rule in life is to be kind. Out of every option, I would choose to be kind. If our world leaders were a little more kind, they would think about what truly matters. 

Kindness is a gift that is free to give yet it is more valuable than any price tag. Kindness is what more people should be focusing on rather than treating people like numbers or mere bystanders in their life. 

For me, kindness feeds my soul. It's an energy that rebuilds my spirit when I feel broken. Being kind to others makes me realise I need to be kinder to myself. 

The greatest act of kindness you can do is be there for someone. Remember that you are 'someone' too and you deserve kindness, happiness and pure self love. 

If all you've done today is criticised yourself or someone else, how about finding some words or acts of kindness you can do. Once done, reflect on how it made you feel? 

I took this picture last night when I felt down. It was refreshing to pick this card 🥰

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This weekend has been tough, but that's ok. Tear This weekend has been tough, but that's ok. 

Tears have been shed. Minds have been overthinking. Overwhelm has been a battle and self love has dimmed but it's Sunday and I'm reflecting, healing, mending and my perspective is changing. I feel a little clearer today ❤

Things may feel unbearable but I promise it will get better. Things will be ok. You are stronger than you think. 

Sending love 🖤

Get yourself a drink. Breathe deeply. Get some fresh air. Have a bath or shower. Eat some of your fave food. Wear your favourite clothes. Play your fave game. Read a book or do what makes your soul feel happy and full. You are enough.

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If you're at home on your own at any point during If you're at home on your own at any point during this time, I want to send you hugs. If you don't like hugs then I send positivity, joy and light. It's a dark time both physically outside as the evening closes in early, darker mornings as the sun takes It's time getting up and also metaphorically as lockdown has sprung upon us in certain countries and covid still lingers the world. 

Winter is a time where we can find comfort in our homes, in our friends and family to balance the cold weather with the warmth we can create. For some they are homeless. For others homes are without heat. For some there is a coldness in heart rather than in temperature and others are alone. 

Whichever you fall into, I send you love. You are not truly alone despite how lonely you may feel. I am a listening ear and I will be here. My safe space BurstsOfAutumn is a place all are welcome and I aim to make you feel comfortable, cosy and warm.

I love you ❤

I got this print from @myprettysummerhome
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Here you can feel comfortable, welcomed and safe. Feel free to comment, like and share or just simply pass by and check out the posts that suit your taste.

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Stay wonderful!

Louna x

My latest on Youtube

BurstsOfAutumn

Happiness, Lifestyle and all things wonderful.
I always say that the most important thing in life is happiness, therefore that is what I'd like to share.
I'm an honest, kind and happy person who loves sharing my experiences and real stories to help others like me realise they are not alone in this huge world.
I'm a huge supporter of mental health and body positivity and believe we can change the way society is about these topics together.
Just a small girl in a big world trying to be happy!

BurstsOfAutumn
A simple little show and review of the Revolution Skincare pink clay detoxifying face mask. A blog post will be live on my site soon so keep your eyes peeled. 

Thanks for watching. I'd love to know what you think. If you like what you see how about clicking the bell icon for updates on my uploads and leaving a like, comment and subscribing if I'm you're cup of tea? Coffee? You know! 

Stay wonderful!

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Revolution Skincare pink clay detoxifying face Mask | Beauty Review
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_u8_4-myYw2Q
So here is my January so far vlog! 

- New Years Eve
- Snowy walks in the park and forest
- Making dindins and suffering from the onions
- Cosy evenings
- Shopping
- Kitty kisses & cuddles
- Organising my shelf and wardrobe
- Veganuary chat

Things included in this vlog:
- Nasty Gal cosy cardi
- George At Asda PJ set
- Vivera steaks
- Linda McCartney pulled pork burgers
- Carly Rowena & The Brew Norfolk collaboration
- Paperchase order
- Masking lavender and chamomile sheet mask review
- Treacle Moon bath and shower products
- The body shop British rose shower gel
- Strawberry Diet Coke

You can find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn

Thank you so much for watching! Stay wonderful x
January so far Vlog | BurstsOfAutumn
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_qWqPDbnazwM
Here is my first little makeup video since a long while ago! I really enjoyed this calming, cosy little Sunday look and I hope you do too. I'd love to hear what you think. 

Products used below:
- Makeup Revolution Eye Primer from their Advent Calendar
- Revolution X Beauty Blogger 'Fortune favours the brave' Palette - Multiple shades shown in video
- Makeup Revolution Kohl Eyeliner Nude
- Makeup Revolution Big Lash Waterproof Volume Mascara
- Makeup Revolution Pore Blur Primer
- Makeup Revolution Hydrate Primer
- LUSH 10c Trix stick 8N Multi use concealer stick * AD Gifted PR Sample
- Revolution Pro Full Coverage Camouflage Foundation F2
- LUSH Emotional Brilliance Translucent Face Powder * AD Gifted PR Sample
- Makeup Revolution Illuminating liquid highlighter
- Sunkissed bronzer
- Makeup Revolution Watermelon setting spray

You can also find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
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Thanks so much for watching! You are awesome.

Stay wonderful!
My Cosy Sunday Makeup Edit | BurstsOfAutumn Beauty - AD PR SAMPLE
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_sqAWlfJet3o
I decided to record an outfit video for New Years Eve so have just got to publishing it! I hope you enjoy. Outfits included below.

* Top - New Look
* Cardigan - Misspap
* Skirt - George At Asda
* Belt - Misspap
* Pink sparkle skirt - New Look
* Glitter jumper - H&M
* Pink polka top top - New Look
* Sparkle dress - Misspap
* Jacket - Boohoo

Thank you so much for watching! You can also find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
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New years outfit video | BurstsofAutumn
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_lIABfKgevvE
The last of 2020

- Kitty plays with yarn!
- Alexa and calming sounds for a relaxing day home
- Building our new dining table from Homebase
- Snowy Birmingham
- My new little work/ reading nook with my Homebase chair
- Little chats about snow outside featuring a sleepy kitty
- Walks in the snow with Mama Autumn
- Photo shoot In the snow
- Hot chocolate to warm us all up
- Evening skincare routine and products I used in the bath

Products and things mentioned
- Amazon Echo
- Yankee candle
- George at Asda Fox wax burner
- Bourneville fingers
- Homebase dining table set
- Homebase blush chair
- Jumper - Misspap
- Skirt - New Look
- Boots - New Look
- Hot Chocolate
- Function of Beauty shampoo and conditioner (Function of Louna & Function of Nanny)
- Sleepy shower bar LUSH - AD Gifted PR Sample
- Sleepy body lotion LUSH - AD Gifted PR Sample
- Misspap cardigan
- Nasty Gal cropped fluffy lounge top
- George at Asda cosy lounge joggers
- Umberto Giannini flowerology colour protect hair mist
- Estrid Shaver
- Que Bella professional detoxifying charcoal intense peel off mask - Gifted from my #SteelCitySecretSanta

Thank you so much for watching and (Happy) New year!

Sending endless love. If you need me you can find me here:
- www.burstsofautumn.com
- www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
- www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
- www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
Last of 2020 vlog | BurstsOfAutumn
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_uNlM4zvSHUY
This vlog is an abundance of festivity bringing you along to my home during Christmas. It's mainly short clips, time lapses, food and little chit chats so I hope you enjoy!

Mentioned in this vlog:
- Steel City Secret Santa unboxing
- Coffee making with my Nespresso machine and the Starbucks Festive blend capsules
- Tesco advent Christmas puzzle
- Baking goodies for Christmas Day
- Christmas Eve meetings
- Being Mrs Santa Claus and dropping off gifts
- Misspap cardigan
- Santa cosy dress from George at ASDA
- Christmas Day and Christmas wishes from my kitties!
- Christmas dinner prep
- Calming boxing Day bath with gifted PR samples from LUSH - AD
- Chit chats in the bath: Emotions, pink everything, Rekorderlig, Amazon Echo Alexa
- New Years Eve Quiz

You can find me here too:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
Christmas time at the Autumn household vlog | A very merry lockdown
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_I2Xwx0zeD2I
So as promised here is my beautiful friend Isobels channel! - https://www.youtube.com/c/IsobelCelineThomas/videos

This video is a gift exchange she and I did and honestly It is so beautiful. This year has been hard but when you have lovely friends it makes the bad days a little easier. 

I hope you enjoy this video. Products gifted to me by Isobel below:
- 

You can find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
Gift exchange with Isobel Celine! | A Very merry lockdown
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_XmYmTMxQewo
The lead up to Christmas full of festivities, chit chats
- Tearing up at the Google advert recognising how much has happened this year.
- Mentoring with The Diana Award
- Gift exchange chats with #SteelCitySecretSanta and Isobel Celine
- Workshop and meeting timelapse
- My skincare routine (Products below)
- Blogosphere Virtual event and insta story check in
- Snacky food and falling back in love with Gherkins.. (I know..)
- Chats about being anxious and facing a fear during my Think4Brum meeting
- Virtual summit for awesome women entrepreneurs featuring Lizzie Chantree!
- Organising the coffee pods and designating a shelf to coffee
- Caring for a poorly mama Autumn
- Making coffee and doing auntie parenting duties
- Covid test for poorly mama Autumn - It's negative yay!
- Wrapping gifts for Christmas and being interrupted by Scott my cat
- Sapphire the cat playing with the string from wrapping and then my camera strap
- Adult fun - Ordered a water filter!
- My shower (Shaff) routine and products
- Gift exchange sneak peek for Isobel Celine!
- Living on the wild side drinking some filtered water from my new water filter
- My Autism (Autistic fingers) Stopping me from wrapping gifts 
- Walking to ASDA for the Christmas shop with Lewis!
- Updating chat during my evening skincare
- Cute kitty cat!
- Dropping off gifts 
- Editing vlogs
- Chit chats about emotional times and staying positive
- Christmas puzzle

Products and things mentioned in this blog:
- Tesco Kind and pure refreshing face wash for sensitive skin
- Face Halo in white
- Naturally radiant Glycolic Tonic
- Reusable cotton face pads
- Alex Steinherr sleep spa every night eye mask
- Revolution Skincare Mood 'Angry' soothing overnight face mask (OMG! Incredible!)
- Naturally Radiant rose quartz facial roller
- Shower routine
- Function of Beauty - The most incredible customisable hair care
- AD - Solid shampoo bar - PR sample from LUSH 
- Square waterfall shower
- AD - American Cream, Yog Nog, Snow fairy - PR Samples from LUSH
- Waterdrop water filter jug in pink
- Taylor swift Evermore album
- My gift guides


You can find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
Caring for a poorly mama Autumn, calming skincare & Festivities | A very merry lockdown vlog
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_cEaD0nCoSW4
- Little updates
  - Bath and self care
  - Kitty cuddles (OUCH!)
  - Talking about death row
  - A bit of kitty ASMR
  - Trying a new dessert from Tesco
  - Puzzle Christmas calendar from Tesco
  - Homebase visit
  - A quick tip for flatlay and photography backdrops
  - Building some furniture
  - EBE work meeting with BCU
  - Chit chats
  - Virtual quiz with friends

Products and things mentioned in this vlog:
- Treaclemoon marshmallow bath gel
- I am a killer
- Natures remedy - Rose water and geranium bath oil
- Natures remedy - Rose water and geranium bath crystals
- BeWater bottle with Amethyst, rose quartz and green aventurine
- Little Moon Mochi and gelato balls
- 12 days of advent jigsaw - Tesco

You can find me here:
www.burstsofautumn.com
www.pinterest.com/burstsofautumn
www.instagram.com/burstsofautumn
www.twitter.com/burstsofautumn
Chit chats, Christmas shop, work meetings, puzzles and funky dessert! | A very merry lockdown blog
YouTube Video UCmCgyi4GsTMrcxo3JVzKJhg_MeZKOW5Mwo8
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