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Loneliness is a very difficult feeling and one that can come along to pay a visit during our school days. For most, they may start in Secondary/ High school as this is the time where people start to form ‘groups’ of people and as hormones fly around, we can find it a pressuring time where our differences make us feel isolated, segregated, bullied and alone.
School is getting tougher and tougher these days. The extra pressure from family, friends, bullies, teachers, society and then due to all of this, ourselves. This is usually the age where we question and start to think about and feel our identity, style, sexuality, future career, paths for years to come and more common now, our gender. A lot of us have found solace in social media when we don’t feel apart of a group in our everyday lives and I suppose that is a wonderful thing providing we are using it safely, however there really is an impact of not feeling part of a friendship group and not being accepted.
The truth is, with all of this pressure from everywhere we look and every corner of our adolescent lives, even when surrounded by friends, family and teachers we can feel lonely and it is a really painful place to be. I feel that we put far too much pressure on young people and we need to look past grades, exams and education and realise that mental wellbeing needs to be the focus because if the young person is not ok, how do we expect to set them up for adult life? Grades can be worked on. Exams can be retaken, but a life is precious and if we push our young people too far, it could be past the point of no return, and I for one would rather keep someones mental health safe, than push them into getting the highest grades possible.
If you’re struggling, please speak to someone. Here are some ways below that I recommend if you’re struggling with loneliness at school:
Keep a journal
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Keeping a journal can not only help get out negative emotions, daily thoughts and feelings and records of your family life but they can also help you feel listened to, heard and less alone. I always felt like when I wrote words on a paper or drew something that represented how I felt, it made me feel like I understood myself a little better and I was so proud of creating something too. As well as journals, if you’re a fan of music, write lyrics, sing, dance and have fun. Your own company is very important, build yourself up bit by bit by having a great friend in the form of a journal. Plus isn’t it fun to feel like you have your own little secret inside the pages of a book or online.
Confide in someone who you trust
Trusting people can be hard, especially in the negative societies we live in. People who we thought would be besties of ours can leave, move on or just generally get further away in many ways. It can be so isolating but if you do have someone you genuinely trust, it is worth having a chat, speaking about how you feel and maybe that person can help you see a different perspective and perhaps a little more clearly and less compulsive. I found that whenever I share my thoughts and feelings with a friend or my other half, or even confided in a specialist teen mental health counselor when attending school, I felt lighter and also start to develop my mindset into reasoning with my anxieties and compulsive, paranoid thoughts instead of dwelling on them and making myself poorly.
Take up a hobby
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Yes it’s a cliché but hobbies are honestly a great way to occupy your mind, find new friends, bond with existing friends and build relationships. A hobby can also make you develop your relationship with yourself. It can make you feel like you are worthy, talented and will overall give a sense of achievement and pride. Taking up new hobbies can also open your friendship circle to in school, family friends and even online. For me, blogging has helped me make so many friends who I will definitely class as lifelong.
Maybe also consider perusing hobbies as extra curricular in school or external from school; You are guaranteed to meet likeminded individuals who share an interest and talent!
Become your own biggest supporter
As I mentioned earlier, hobbies and journaling can help us build our own sense of self and also develop our relationships with our minds, spirit, emotions and body. If you start with yourself as the strong base, you can cope better, fall less deep and rise higher after downfalls. The truth is, when everyone else is busy, away, in class, silent and much more, the one person you have is you. High five yourself in the mirror. Do some online or in person shopping to get to know what you love doing, wearing, eating and finding out what feeds your soul. Yes, it’s not always the same as human connection, but the connection with yourself is vital for a strong base and a strong person. You got this!
Thank you so much for reading. If you feel this has helped you, please let me know in the comments. Feel free to chat over on my socials too.
Stay wonderful!
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