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Let’s party! Or maybe not… | Old post – repost

20th July 2020 2 Comments

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A bit of a random little post here but I was looking through my very first blog on Blogger.com and thought it would be fun to repost the posts on here! It’s so fun to see how my writing style and techniques have changed and just content in general! I may start posting some old ones to show you how funny teenage me was.

This blog post was from February 2014 talking about a past experience ย and is about my inability to feel like a normal teenager. The world through my little geeky, teenage eyes!

Let's party! Or maybe not..

So, I have been thinking about a past experience I had had at a party I attended a year or so ago.
It was basically when I was pulled out of mainstream education and became home educated.
Of course, the amount of friends I had was minimal, and the ones I did have just felt sorry for me.
So there came a time when I asked my friends to stay round; one was busy and the other two were going to the same party, so little old me was left alone. Thankfully my friend decided to ask me to go with her to this 16th Birthday party of a girl from my old school. Me being..clever, I said yes! (Big mistake). I thought ‘Why not?’. I didn’t want to, but I felt left out and didn’t want to be the ‘boring’ one. I felt constantly looked down on anyway, so I wanted to prove a point that I could do teenage things.
ย I assumed I was like the other teens and could have a normal time.
In the back of my mind, I knew I wasn’t like them all and I knew a party was not going to be easy for me to handle. Especially a party full of 15 and 16 year olds!

Before the party I could not decide what to wear.
I’m a small, quirky, nerdy and not exactly thin girl, with not a lot of self confidence at all.
So finding an outfit to wear that suits this particular occasion was difficult.
I tried on so many cute dresses I had, but nope, they wouldn’t be right.
I tried on my friends tight fitted dresses and just looked like a lumpy mess!
So I ended up wearing a green and white polka dotted crop top with a black high waisted skirt.
Now don’t get me wrong, Polka dots look cute on me; I love them! But I guess cute wasn’t right for the occasion.
The crop top..I didn’t exactly wear it as a crop top, I pulled the skirt up so that none of my tummy was on show and I didn’t wear a lot of make up, just because It’s not something that appealed to me. My hair was down, orange and black and was held back with a cute bow head band.

So there above is the night of the party, showing my outfit. Of course minus the fluffy house slippers!
But yes, my two other friends wore tight and girly clothes which appealed to the boys; I guess I must have cramped their style a bit.
Their was everyone at the party wearing tight fitted dresses with clutch purses, drinking alcohol, and then there was me, looking quirky and polka dotted, with a bow head band, a brown bohemian side bag and drinking water.
I guess I was and still am so so different to the average teenager.

Anyway, enough rambling on.
The party was..horrid.
I mean, to me it was.
To my friends it was a blast. Dancing around teenage boys with their mainstream hair and style.
Eek..I feel ill thinking about it all again!
I was just so out of my comfort zone. A dance floor full of teens dancing almost seductively, and there is me completely frozen with fear (When I say frozen, I mean I actually couldn’t move I was that scared).
And this is why I don’t do parties like this.
I mean a family party is not too bad, but a popular person from schools party – not so good!

One memory from this party I will never forget was when I first walked in behind my friends and everyone turned to look. They looked back after a glance apart from the table sitting closest to the door. Which had someone on it who I had been friends with previously in infant school. He wasn’t nice to me since he became cool. He just looked at me, laughed and turned to say something to his friend who also laughed. So yes, nothing like feeling paranoid in an environment you hate anyway!
I was just happy when I got home and I could put back on those purple slippers of mine and forget everything that had happened by watching TV and sipping on a hot chocolate.

I just thought I would share this with you all.
I haven’t attended a party like that since then, which I’m happy about.

So yes! How do you guys find parties?
It would be interesting to hear some different comments with stories of your experiences.
I’m up for reading them!

Smile ๐Ÿ™‚
ย  L
xxx

It is genuinely so bizarre to re read my old blog posts and see how little self belief I had. Even then I was down putting my body and believing I was ‘Overweight’. It just goes to show the power of bullying! I’m now a body confidence model and stand up against bullying and struggles in schools!

Thanks for reading. Have you re read old posts of yours? If so, how was it?

Stay wonderful!

Louna x

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2 Comments

  1. Paige
    •
    6 months ago

    This is so bittersweet to read; I felt like I wanted to pull you out of that party environment because it seemed so horrible! I’m glad you can look back now and know that you have developed more self-confidence and the ability to take yourself out of an environment you don’t feel comfortable in. I hated parties like this; and to be honest, still do. My friends were always the ones to organise them etc, which obviously meant that I had to go (you know the whole messed up secondary school friend code) I could always hold my own, and pretend like I was having a good time but really I just wanted to be at home in my comfy clothes. I’ve never been a massive drinker (in fact, I don’t really drink at all) so being stone cold sober with all these sweaty, drunk people clambering over you is just not the vibe I like. I also think you looked lovely at this party anyway!

    Paige // Paige Eades

    Reply
    1. burstsofautumn
      •
      6 months ago

      Thank you so much for this in depth comment. I think we are definitely on the same page! It can feel so unnerving being so far out of your comfort zone. It’s so hard to just be someone who enjoys the smaller things in life at times when we are surrounded by people who love the opposite. We can come across boring but I love being the kind of person who sits at home with a good book, a film and a nice beverage in hand. Comfort, happiness and a lot less to worry about ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thank you so much again. You seem fantastic and I hope we can be blogger friends!

      Stay wonderful!

      Louna | BurstsOfAutumn

      Reply

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burstsofautumn

I hope all who celebrate had a wonderful Christmas I hope all who celebrate had a wonderful Christmas and all who don't, that you had a great day in general.

This year has been insanely difficult for most so it's ok if:

ยฐ You haven't felt festive

ยฐ You didn't manage to buy cards or gifts for everyone 

ยฐ You felt sadness/ Anger/ Irritation on Christmas day

ยฐ You need time alone or time away

ยฐ You haven't been productive 

The bottom line is, it's ok. You have done so well to even just get through this indescribable year or loss, anger, frustration and sadness. 

I send you endless love, hugs, positivity and a shoulder to lean on. You are incredible and I am so proud of you. 

I hope you've been looking after your mental and physical health. Remember that you matter and what you feel is valid. 

Stay wonderful, stay safe but most importantly stay alive โค๐Ÿ–ค

________________________________________

#Christmas #Festive #NewYear #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Lockdown #InTiersWithTears #Homesofinstagram #discoverunder2k #discoverunder5k #homestyledecor #homedecor #shinyhappybloggers #babessupportbabes #chattycaptioncommunity #homeinteriors #housetohome #homesweethome #DailyGirlsFeed #discoverunder2k #Positivity #Strength
Merry Christmas Eve to all who celebrate it โค๐ŸŽ„ I wish you the most wonderful time and I hope you can find joy despite us being in such tough times. 

Sending endless love, hope, happiness, positivity, joy and fun โค๐ŸŽ

#Christmas #ChristmasNails #Festive #StaySafe
Are you feeling festive? I have personally reall Are you feeling festive? 

I have personally really struggled this year and I know so many others will too with how weird the world is at the moment. Everything seems stressful and emotionally and physically draining. Time is flying by but things still feel the same. 

From today I'm going to really try and get into the festive spirit with Christmas films, songs and such. I may even throw a mulled wine or two in there! 

How are you getting festive? It's ok if you aren't. We live in such strange times and there is so much uncertainty. I'm so proud of you for getting through it all! 

________________________________________

#writerscommunity #selfgrowth #writersofinstagram 
#Homesofinstagram #discoverunder2k #discoverunder5k #homestyledecor #homedecor #shinyhappybloggers #babessupportbabes #beautygirl #chattycaptioncommunity #beautybloggeruk #DailyGirlsFeed #Christmas #ChristmasWithLove #Lockdown #Covid19 #MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Positivity #positivevibes
Are you ok? A lot of people are not and I just wan Are you ok? A lot of people are not and I just wanted to use todays post to ask this question because it fucking matters more than anything! 

Whether you leave me a comment, message me, talk to someone or just internally answer these questions, give them a think because it's important and it matters how honest you are with yourself.

ยฐ How are you feeling?

ยฐ How has recent lockdown and restriction news impacted your mental and emotional health?

ยฐ Do you realise that you matter? Do you know that all of your thoughts and feelings are valid?

ยฐ Are you ok? 

ยฐ Do you need someone to talk to? 

You are doing incredible for overcoming everything. This year has been absolutely terrifying, anxiety inducing and just emotionally, mentally and physically draining. You, my friend are a legend! I hope you realise how much respect you deserve for holding on during this weird time.

________________________________________

#writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #discoverunder2k #discoverunder5k #shinyhappybloggers #babessupportbabes #chattycaptioncommunity #homesweethome #positivity #positivevibes #positiveenergy #Cosy #Autumn #Winter #Fall #Warmth #LifestyleBlogger #SelfCare #Wellbeing #MentalHealth #COVID19 #covidchristmas #christmaswithloveโค๏ธ๐ŸŽ„๐Ÿ’ซ
"You have to wear a lot of hats as a creator" - A "You have to wear a lot of hats as a creator" - A great sum up of a creators work life from Andy at the blogosphere event!

Would you agree? - You are almost every role in the 'office' as a freelance content creator which makes you awesome! ๐Ÿ‘ #joby

So since I'm a busy bee working lots have a bit more of my self Confessed geek with secrets look!

This is how I feel most days with reading? Working and writing!

Shop the look
* Mustard long sleeve top - @primark
* Skirt - @georgeatasda
* Shoes - @drmartensofficial
* @harrypotterfilm

* Camera - @nikoneurope

These beautiful frames are from @specsavers and are the @kylieminogue range! ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ’•

________________________________________

#curvygirl #curvypower #curvywoman #curvyconfidence #midsizegals #midsizefashion #midsivestyle #chicstyle #reallifeandstyle #curvesonfleek #curvyrevolution #curvymodel #curvyfashionista #hourglassfigure
#fashionphotography #athomestyle #Whatimwearingathome #theperksofbodyposi #bodypositive #bodyposipals #selfloveclub #selfloveissexy #mybodymybusiness #curvygirl #celebratemycurves #DailyGirlsFeed #Geek #GamerGirl #Bookworm
So as part of my personality glasses reel and look So as part of my personality glasses reel and looks I included this Self Confessed geek with secrets look but this one is a flatlay! 

Buying this look:
* Mustard long sleeve top - @primark
* Skirt - @georgeatasda
* Shoes - @drmartensofficial

These beautiful frames are from @specsavers and are the @kylieminogue range! ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ’•

________________________________________

#curvygirl #curvypower #curvywoman #curvyconfidence #midsizegals #midsizefashion #midsivestyle #chicstyle #reallifeandstyle #curvesonfleek #curvyrevolution #curvymodel #curvyfashionista #hourglassfigure
#fashionphotography #athomefashion #athomestyle #Whatimwearingathome #theperksofbodyposi #bodypositive #bodyposipals #selfloveclub #selfloveissexy #mybodymybusiness #curvygirl #curvefluencer #celebratemycurves #DailyGirlsFeed #Geek #GamerGirl #Bookworm
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